That phrase embodies a longing to return to a time when life moved a little more slowly, people stood and talked without hurry, and children played outside without parents worrying. Knocks on the front door typically meant a neighbor just wanted company and had walked over with their evening coffee to sit on the front porch and gossip. As we age, we long for simpler times, but everything appears more complicated as the years pass.
“When I was a kid…” is usually followed by descriptions of innocent and tender things, like walking barefoot on a dirt road that leads you home or climbing a tree during recess at school. Those things are now seen as impossible, archaic, or downright unbelievable. But to those of us who experienced them, they were as real as the moon and the stars. We describe those moments hoping that the magic we experienced growing up can somehow permeate the lives of those we love. Our grandchildren and great-grandchildren, who have never known the joy of chasing fireflies at midnight, might feel a hint of the joy and awe we felt as children when the silence seemed too loud, and dusk took too long to give way to the darkness.
“When I was a kid…” seeps into our language as quietly as memories sneak into our daily lives. But telling those moments does not bring them to life; only through writing can they be made immortal. Brutus was wrong at Ceasar’s funeral; the evil that men do AND the good are BOTH interred with their bones unless it’s written. We are all turned to dust and eventually forgotten unless our moments and lives are made immortal.
“When I was a kid…” will be lost to time and disbelief until you see your story as worthy. It is necessary for those who want to learn from you; there is always something to learn from every life and experience. You are where you are, WHO you are, because of decisions and choices that steered your career and family life trajectory. Think back and ponder how one misstep, one indecision, could have altered your entire path. That is the benefit of memoir: helping others navigate difficult decisions as they travel similar career paths.
Next time you hear a colleague or friend say, “When I was a kid…” give them the attention that phrase deserves. They aren’t being wistful or melancholy. They are sharing a moment that made them who they are and put them on their path. Ask questions and be genuinely curious. Give them space to explore the memory and live in that moment, if only for a few minutes. They might give you the same courtesy the next time you stare out the window with a tender smile playing at the corner of your mouth, and say, “Ya know, when I was a kid…”