Seeing the Tree through the Forest

            

Insecurity is the deadliest virus for any goal. Self-doubt strangles success.

            It is incredibly easy to label your unwillingness to try as an inability. But it isn’t an inability…it’s fear—fear of embarrassment, ridicule, and failure. But if you never try or fail, you can never succeed. So, trying and failing is absolutely necessary to solve the equation of success. That is why you see writers carrying notebooks and pencils with them everywhere. They write about everything at all times. The practice of words is ever-evolving, just as the person wielding the pen changes from moment to moment. Which brings us to the two most often-asked questions I receive:

            “How do I begin my memoir?” and “How do I end my memoir?”

            Well, the easy answer is birth and death. But that’s also an unrealistic approach to memoir. So, then, how should you approach memoir? A forest. That’s the answer. Think of trees in a forest.

I know you’re thinking, ‘This woman has eaten way too many red M&M’s,’ but what I’m saying is true! Allow me to explain…when you first walk into a forest, do you stop and look at every tree and leaf? No. But your eyes are drawn to certain trees for no particular reason. Maybe you’re staring at the little birch with its white bark peeling away like sun-burnt skin. Or the huge oak with branches that stretch overhead like a giant's arms. Like certain memories, those unique timbers stay with you long after you leave the woods. There’s no rhyme or reason for their persistence, but they continue tapping on the walls of your mind.    

            Those memories are where you begin. Just write them down exactly as they happened. There’s no editing, no need to create a story, no need to ensure a morally pleasant outcome—just write the retrospection exactly as it comes to you. Once you finish that thought, go on to the next one. Don’t try to connect anything; just allow them to occupy their own space. Yes, your writing will be rough. Yes, your words will stumble over each other. Yes, it will be hard not to erase, scratch out, delete, and so on, but you must keep the integrity of each recollection. Leave it as is and move on to the next. Only until you’ve written the majority of the moments you feel NEED to be in your memoir, can you go back and begin focusing on the bigger picture.

            Until it’s out of your head, you can’t move forward. It’s that simple. So, find a comfortable place, pick out instruments that help you relax, like a favorite pen or pencil, your favorite notebook, and music. Carve out 30 minutes from each day to just write. Allow that to be YOUR time to dedicate to memories. And that is how you begin to march through your memoir. One memory at a time.