Tracing Grace

 

            Most social media accounts depict perfection.
           Playful, smiling families with idyllic homes. Or chiseled bodies posed provocatively, sporting movie star looks. The majority seem successful, appearing to be part of the upper echelon. You can see photos as they pray, help the homeless, volunteer at the animal shelter, as a Big Brother or Big Sister, take care of a sick relative, and so on.

            It’s a sad fact that most people are uncomfortable admitting they've failed at anything in their lives. However, building an unblemished version of yourself is not the approach to take when writing a memoir. Showing humanness through vulnerability allows your readers to see themselves within your writing. Even if they’ve never experienced what you’re describing, even if they have nothing in common with you, they will see glimpses of themselves within the vulnerable moments shared. Being real with your frail moments and your fallibility is a gift you give to others because we’re all broken in one way or another; we’ve all fallen over and over.  

            It’s not the heroic moments in our lives that people will find commonalities with because heroic moments are rarely common. The things that we find most relatable are the daily struggles and ordinary moments that suddenly become overwhelming. Shared devastations bind strangers, and while revealing those occurrences, readers will see themselves in each moment. Being vulnerable allows your readers to trust you and form that bond. Besides, you were not made who you are by a singular experience. It took decades of learning and maybe fighting the learning process, too. The reader doesn’t relate to you because they have had similar experiences. They relate because they feel a similar connection to their own experiences. In all honesty, the reason we write memoirs and the reason we read them is they reassure us of a universal thread binding us all.

            Shed the need to be perfect. Look more closely and take a moment to marvel at your scars. See the lines around your mouth and creases next to your eyes as a life map. Like the Who’s in Whoville, the life lessons etched on your body have been waiting to be seen, shouting, “WE ARE HERE! WE ARE HERE! WE ARE HERE!” with all their might. Start writing those moments with joy instead of contempt. They are memories of failing, yes…but you failed forward and continued pushing towards success. How can that be a negative experience? You learned and that’s always a positive. Share it with a sense of joyful exuberance at a life being lived with gusto and grace.